I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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