Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
