the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
