"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
