I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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