I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
