How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
