clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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