something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
