I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
