Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize