Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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