so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
