Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
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Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
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The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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