All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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