Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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