Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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