I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You're like the curious george of whores
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
