she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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