..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
