if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
