I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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