I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
