She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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