Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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