so that wasnt chicken after all
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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