Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize