he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
