I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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