Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
