you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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