I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
