moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize