only you would photoshop your dick
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
