i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
