2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
