why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
