Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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