if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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