if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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