found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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