I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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