it was like his penis was on wheels.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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