just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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