good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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