There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
