My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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