Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
