Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
