Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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