guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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