Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
