You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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