why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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