So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
