where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
