Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
